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All By Myself

Loneliness.  Not a word that would immediately spring to mind when thinking of actors.  Actors are the collaborators, the ones working with a team of people, the ones in the pub of a fringe theatre, post show, having a riot of a time or the ones on red carpets attending glamorous parties.  They don’t get lonely!

I think it’s easier to see how a writer or a painter might feel alone – what they do is primarily a solitary job.  But today in a world increasingly run by technology, which is ironically designed to connect us to people, one can feel more detached than ever.  In reality, this may have always been the case to some extent.  Waiting for your agent to call with news of an audition alone in your flat would be a similar experience in 1976 as it is in 2014 (only now you can distract yourself with an episode of Jeremy Kyle and reflect that actually your life isn’t that bad).  If you have an agent, at least there is someone else out there fighting for your career.  If you don’t, sitting in front of a laptop, endlessly refreshing Spotlight or tracking casting directors every movement on Twitter can be both mind numbing and depressing.  Logging on to Castingcallpro each day brings with it a sense of anticipation and eagerness – what life changing opportunities will be listed today?  Will any of the ten jobs I applied for yesterday (which I was completely right for) result in an audition?  Will the email I sent to the National last week about their new season mean today’s the day when they finally see sense and invite me in to read?  Will the artistic director of the RSC read my witty Shakespeare related tweet and realise I must be in the next company?  You can be hugely proactive online and for all its interacting-ness still feel ignored, overlooked and alone.

To an extent, I don’t think that this can be avoided.  The main way a lot of casting is done now is online.  It’s instant, cheaper (no more posting expensive 10x8s) and has a global reach.  Even auditions happen without humans meeting each other- self tape anyone?  I got a job once without having an actual conversation with another soul.  I saw it on Twitter, sent a video audition, was offered the role by email, turned up as appointed and did the job.  It’s a funny world.


I’m lucky enough to have very supportive family and friends but there are definitely times when I feel isolated.  It can also be difficult to stay driven – when you’re in the drama school bubble you’re surrounded by people who are similar to you and want the same things, this is both supportive and motivating.  Once you leave the cosy cocoon, it’s just you and you can feel a bit helpless.  For my sanity, I try to stay active.  I go to acting classes, exercise (endorphins are like free happy drugs!) and try to see actual people.  And drink tea.  Always drink tea.

 Twitter: @mirandacolmans
Website: www.mirandacolmans.com
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